Most people are familiar with divorce litigation. It’s where each member of the couple hires lawyers to litigate the divorce case in an adversarial manner. Discovery is conducted, motions are made, and the case is prepared to be tried. All too often, the result of this adversarial process is financial ruin (it can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars in legal and other bills each), the squandering of whatever good will and affection that once existed between the litigants, and most tragically of all, children and other family members are caught in the middle.
The fact is, however, that the vast majority (over 90%) of litigated divorces settle. Those settlements often come too late – after life savings have been wiped out in litigation costs, after the remaining good will and respect each party had for the other has been squandered, and after the children or friends have been damaged in the crossfire.
At Divorce Mediation of New Jersey, we view divorce mediation as a sensible alternative to costly divorce litigation. It is divorce for grown ups. It is a means of getting divorced without ruining your lives. Our process uses a neutral mediator to assist the couple to identify the necessary issues that need to be addressed and to help them create reasonable solutions that work well for them and their lives.
Unlike divorce litigation, divorce mediation is non-adversarial. It means that one party will not “win” and one party will not “lose”. It involves the participants viewing themselves and each other not as adversaries or combatants, and instead focuses their efforts on finding workable solutions to their problems and needs.